Discovering Me (4)

Since this blog is about my new life and experiences, I will be sharing some personal insights and thoughts with you about several things. For almost a year I have been attending an Al-Anon group. This is a great experience for me and I can't keep from including it my blog. (These are MY experiences and I am not representing AA or Al-Anon.) 

The reason I began attending Al-Anon is due to my ex-husbands' drinking. I am not saying he is an alcoholic, only he can say that - but his drinking bothered me and I needed to find out why and what my part was. It has been such a wonderful thing to find out that I am not alone in my feelings and experiences. I try to not think too much about the past, this is a looking forward blog. I read this today in one of the Al-Anon books:

From: Discovering Choices - We can't change the past, however, we can change our interpretation of the past, which makes a difference in how we feel today. When we are willing to look at ourselves critically and admit our errors, we can regret our mistakes while also taking some satisfaction that we've grown since we made those mistakes. We earn respect for ourselves as well as from others even as we remain humble out of respect for the modest role we play in a world cared for by a Higher Power. It is our attitudes, not our relationships, which can keep us trapped in the past. If we choose to be resentful and unhappy, it is not the fault of anyone else. 

When I started to date again, I wanted to find a man who didn't smoke or drink (my ex does). I found out that God has a sense of humor. MG doesn't smoke but he is an alcoholic (12 yrs sober). God knew paring me with an alcoholic would force me to face my mistakes and in my going to open AA meetings and finding an Al-Anon group to attend, I am healing from that part of my life. I have met wonderful, kind people and MG and I attend AA conferences about 3 times a year and they are really fun.

So, periodically I will be talking about AA and Al-Anon as part of my experiences. Maybe what I say will help you or someone you know. I want to think positively about myself and my world. I don't always know the answers to my dilemmas, and that's okay. All I need to do is decide whether I want to feel good and loving or just plain miserable. I am learning to live one day at a time and I choose to be positive instead of negative. 

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you'll discover will be wonderful.  What you'll discover is yourself.  ~Alan Alda