Discovering Me (4)

Since this blog is about my new life and experiences, I will be sharing some personal insights and thoughts with you about several things. For almost a year I have been attending an Al-Anon group. This is a great experience for me and I can't keep from including it my blog. (These are MY experiences and I am not representing AA or Al-Anon.) 

The reason I began attending Al-Anon is due to my ex-husbands' drinking. I am not saying he is an alcoholic, only he can say that - but his drinking bothered me and I needed to find out why and what my part was. It has been such a wonderful thing to find out that I am not alone in my feelings and experiences. I try to not think too much about the past, this is a looking forward blog. I read this today in one of the Al-Anon books:

From: Discovering Choices - We can't change the past, however, we can change our interpretation of the past, which makes a difference in how we feel today. When we are willing to look at ourselves critically and admit our errors, we can regret our mistakes while also taking some satisfaction that we've grown since we made those mistakes. We earn respect for ourselves as well as from others even as we remain humble out of respect for the modest role we play in a world cared for by a Higher Power. It is our attitudes, not our relationships, which can keep us trapped in the past. If we choose to be resentful and unhappy, it is not the fault of anyone else. 

When I started to date again, I wanted to find a man who didn't smoke or drink (my ex does). I found out that God has a sense of humor. MG doesn't smoke but he is an alcoholic (12 yrs sober). God knew paring me with an alcoholic would force me to face my mistakes and in my going to open AA meetings and finding an Al-Anon group to attend, I am healing from that part of my life. I have met wonderful, kind people and MG and I attend AA conferences about 3 times a year and they are really fun.

So, periodically I will be talking about AA and Al-Anon as part of my experiences. Maybe what I say will help you or someone you know. I want to think positively about myself and my world. I don't always know the answers to my dilemmas, and that's okay. All I need to do is decide whether I want to feel good and loving or just plain miserable. I am learning to live one day at a time and I choose to be positive instead of negative. 

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you'll discover will be wonderful.  What you'll discover is yourself.  ~Alan Alda

When a Man Loves a Woman (3)

It is early Saturday morning and I don't feel very well. Probably something I ate. I am trying to be quiet so I go into the living room and turn on the TV low as not to disturb MG. He comes into the room a couple of hours later to check on me. He gets me a cup of coffee and asks what he can do for me. I seem okay for now, but in about an hour my bad feeling returns. I request a med from the drugstore and off MG goes to find it. He goes to 3 drugstores and returns with the med. He is so great, he will do anything to help me feel better. I am so blessed. 

I don't want to look back, but I need to give you a comparison. My ex-husband was not nurturing or seemed to care much about my comfort and well being. When I was ill or had morning sickness from pregnancies, he was not supportive. I would struggle through on my own. Especially when he would be out of town for weeks or months. 

So to be with a man who truly cares for me, thinks about me, loves me through and through is a new experience for me. Actually I have to be careful for what I ask or he will immediately take care of me and the situation. I don't have to be control all the time and it is a nice relief. When we were first together, I got a stomach virus and he held my head when I was over the toilet and brought me anything to help me feel better. Recently I had minor surgery and he was there by my side for the several days of recovery. I just can't say it enough how much this means to me. He always says I need to let him know when I don't feel well or need his help, he is always reassuring me that he is here for me and ready to do anything for me anytime. I love that. I am slowly letting him do for me. There is a small bag left from my previous life and it is getting smaller every day.

We have been together almost a year and as you can see on my home page, we are planning our wedding for later this year. I am very blessed and grateful to God for bringing me to this man. 

Trouble is part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough.  ~Dinah Shore

Busy Grandma (2)

I have been a busy grandma. Last September my first grand-daughter was born (grand-child #3). EJ  is a big girl and looks so much like my mother's side of the family. Round cheeks and a great smile. I was lucky enough to watch her be born.

Christmas came and it was difficult. The Christmas season was my mom's favorite of the year besides having flowers all over her yard. She liked having the family come to their house to laugh, eat and have fun. This was the 2nd Christmas without mom and I just couldn't go over to the house. My family did not understand why I was unable to go see my dad on the day, but I have decided that I am old enough to do what I want and if I don't want to be part of a negative (for me) event, I don't participate. I wanted celebrate the holiday at my home I share with my fiance, MG and we wanted to begin our own traditions.

Two of my daughters were able to come to our house for dinner and gift exchange. MG invited his sons but they were not able to make it, we saw them later in the week. It is always fun to see the grandchildren open their gifts and hear all the squeals. This was EJ's first so she was not aware of what was happening so this year will be more fun for all of us.


Then January 17th came around and it was time for grandchild #4 - HP to be born. EB is a good mom and SB is such a great dad and helps out.  I am proud of them both. On January 26 (my mom's birthday) I was able to go to Phoenix and help with the baby when dad returned to work. I stayed 10 days and then a few days later the other grandma came to see her first grandchild. I didn't stay long enough. The baby is so cute and we all had a great time - Phoenix is a nice town. I would love to live in that part of the country.

That was my first trip away from home since MG and I got together and I missed him very much. We had gotten so very close in the last couple of months and we have such a great relationship. I am so blessed that he is in my life. I love him so much. We have a nice life. I am excited about the new year and look forward to our wedding later this year.

February 1st and grandchild #5 - MA comes early. I was in Phoenix so I missed the actual birth but heard all about it. I saw  daughter (RJ) and son when I returned home. He is a little cutie, looks like dad but has my daughter's eyes and beautiful olive complexion. They live nearby so I can see him anytime I want. I have even babysat several times and I really enjoy that.

So, I went from 2 to 5 grand-children in 4 months. For now, my three girls are done birthin' babies and I can concentrate on my next big event - our wedding will be at the end of this year.

It is hard, but I am learning to let go of my children and let them live their own lives. I have to do that or I will not be able to enjoy my new life. This is something I really struggle with but it is the only way. That is what parents are supposed to do. Give their children roots and wings. They know I am always here if they need but I try not to hover like I used to. They are all grown with their own families and need to figure out life for themselves.


When you have brought up kids, there are memories you store directly in your tear ducts.  ~Robert Brault

A New Year, A New Life (1)

January 2011

Last year was a good year but I expect this year to be fabulous.  I was so devastated when my mother died. After my divorce I felt my life was over and I would forever be alone. That's what I get for leading my life, not letting God do the leading.

This blog is a second one by me. The first was about my former life as an ex-wife and it chronicled my divorce after 30 years of marriage (dancingthroughmydivorce.blogspot.com).

This blog will be a look at my current life, my second chance at living, my chapter two. I have come through the dark tunnel of loss and disappointment and will be talking about my life now and my family. There is a lot going on and you might be interested. I write chronologically so it is up to you how you want to read the posts (initials only will be used in this blog to identify family members).




The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.  ~Mark Twain