Webster Dictionary defines Hope as - A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
For my high school graduation gift my parents gave me a Lane Hope chest. Tradition says you are to put items in it for the time when you are married. Keepsakes, china, lace tablecloths, whatever you think you will need for your married life. I hoped I would get married and have those things. I didn't have those kinds of things in mine. I had special mementos from family trips, heirloom toys (usually a doll my mom made), and later it was my babies first clothes I wanted to keep (that marriage didn't work out like I had Hoped).
The chest reminds me of my family. I had Hoped all my life that I would be close to my sisters like my mother was with hers. But we never were. There always seemed to be an invisible barrier that kept us apart. Is it just age? I am the youngest child so I am 14 yrs younger than the eldest, 11 yrs younger than the next sister and 3 yrs younger than the next. I was closest to my mother, I don't think my dad knew I existed. At least that is how I felt. Always Hoping he would talk to me, would say he loved me, something. Are they jealous that I was close to mom?Am I just know realizing that? Has that been the issue between us all these years?
With the past couple of weeks dealing with my sisters over the remains of my parents home, I had Hoped we would join together and want to be close and have a good relationship. Again Hope.
But, that is not to be. Things have been said that can never be taken back. So my Hope for the sister relationship I have wanted all my life is a change that is not going to happen - ever. Hope for that part of my life is gone. My parents are gone and my sisters don't know me or my life so they are gone too.
But don't feel sorry for me, I have a great new life with a wonderful man. I have good, dear friends and terrific kids and grand-kids who love me. I am very happy and Hope you are too.
